Are You There, God?
Dear God,
I want to be closer to you. I know this is possible because there have been times when I have felt your presence so surely that my fears melt away, and even now, I must admit, when I cry out to you my fear dissolves. Should that prove to me that you are real, and that you really care about me? Or is it a trick I play on myself?
During the times I've felt closest to you, I've had to work at it. I read my bible, I prayed, I studied, I praised you. Sometimes I think, why do I have to do all the work? Yeah, yeah, I hear you. What do you mean YOU do all the work. Who created The Universe where you live?
I've just realized one thing that might be keeping me from spending the time I need to reconnect with you. In the time it has taken me to write the two short paragraphs above I have been interrupted four separate times by four different people. I have no space to myself. Unless I leave and hide in my car or go sit in the bathroom,...oh wait. Not even the bathroom is sacred for us moms. Unless I really work at creating time or space,...
And there is interruption number FIVE coming from my youngest.
Sigh.
I'll try again tomorrow.
I want to be closer to you. I know this is possible because there have been times when I have felt your presence so surely that my fears melt away, and even now, I must admit, when I cry out to you my fear dissolves. Should that prove to me that you are real, and that you really care about me? Or is it a trick I play on myself?
During the times I've felt closest to you, I've had to work at it. I read my bible, I prayed, I studied, I praised you. Sometimes I think, why do I have to do all the work? Yeah, yeah, I hear you. What do you mean YOU do all the work. Who created The Universe where you live?
I've just realized one thing that might be keeping me from spending the time I need to reconnect with you. In the time it has taken me to write the two short paragraphs above I have been interrupted four separate times by four different people. I have no space to myself. Unless I leave and hide in my car or go sit in the bathroom,...oh wait. Not even the bathroom is sacred for us moms. Unless I really work at creating time or space,...
And there is interruption number FIVE coming from my youngest.
Sigh.
I'll try again tomorrow.
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